


Update Needed, Please Restart

by zovinar



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Gen, Self Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 07:32:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16445501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zovinar/pseuds/zovinar
Summary: Venom does a disk defragment.Eddie sort of lags out.





	Update Needed, Please Restart

**Author's Note:**

> this is 84% dialogue and was written in the bath bc barometric pressure makes my bones ache.

 

Eddie wakes up.

Eddie wakes up to the chirping of birds and the beautiful sunrise of a new dawn.

“Oh my god.”

Eddie wakes up feeling _great_.

“Oh my god what.”

 _Yes, this is much better_.

Eddie wakes up _refreshed,_ ready for the new day and his limbs still feel warm despite the lingering crisp chill that actually feels invigorating instead of off-putting and he isn’t even low-key hating the world before his morning coffee and _what the fuck did Venom even do._

_I cleared the excess cortisol out of your system._

“You what?”

_Physical exertion was helping, but still too much left over._

“What.”

_Exercise more, dipshit._

“No, what—what the fuck! _What_.”

_Is this what your laptop feels like when it’s rebooting? Is that why you do it when it gets bitchy instead of just turning it off for a while._

“No, that’s because most computers these days actually go into a deeper hibernate instead of actually turning all the way off unless you do a restart or a force shutdown to— Wait _no_ , what does that even mean??”

_You’re borderline incoherent. Shut up, Eddie._

“Oh my god.”

_This is what happens when you’re not leaning on your evolutionary panic button._

“Cleared the excess…you—! You can’t _change_ my brain chemistry!”

_It was fucking up your neurotransmitters, they were all super low. Is that why they call it depression? Why does everyone just talk about it like it’s just being sad, you were actually less able to feel sad, it was sort of…depressing._

“Man, please don’t joke about messing with my brain. Cortisol is like, the stress hormone, right? You can’t just make me not stress out over things.

 _There’s a difference between stress and stressors, Eddie_.

“So not what I’m talking about. God how do you even _know_ about this stuff?”

_Internet._

“Oh my god.”

_Mayo Clinic said—_

“Mayo Clinic?”

_Dan said it was okay for baseline stuff. Also, need to get out of the apartment more. D 3 levels are shit._

“Oh, what, should I be taking suppleme—”

_You should be taking supplements._

“Holy crap, my space alien hitchhiker is a health nut. Were you on Pinterest again? I told you to stay off of Pinterest.”

_Your body is a temple, Eddie._

Oh my god. “And you can’t just…dunno, magically fix that.”

_I’m not a magic space alien hitchhiker._

Eddie rolls his eyes, “it was rhetorical.”

Venom…doesn’t say anything.

“Venom, magic isn’t real.”

_Why do you think that tiny hole in the wall always has exactly what we’re hungry for._

“What, no— _magic isn't real, Venom!”_

_Calm your tits. God, go for a run or something, I just finished cleaning this place up._

“But—! Magic!!”

_I have eaten magic users before, Eddie._

“Oh my god.”

_Tastes fizzy when they’re channeling energy. Like soda._

“Fuck, never mind, I don’t wanna know. Where are my shoes.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Venom dropping articles was deliberate, if you were wondering)
> 
> cortisol actually does tap down all your other neurotransmitters, which can make it much more difficult for your body to signal you to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom. that used to make sense (you’re much less likely to get dead if you don’t suddenly need to piss while being chased by a sabertooth tiger) but just sorta leaning on the panic button constantly is a lot like holding down a key on your keyboard for way too goddamn long: ie. not good.
> 
> in fact, high cortisol levels for an extended period of time can actually cause depression, no emotional down spiral needed! try and get your heart rate up at least once a day kids, even if it’s just jumping jacks in your living room or something.


End file.
